Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Cancer Poem

Among us, there is a wicked serpent,
aimlessly targeting his victims.
His attacks are unpredictable, calamitous, toxic,
releasing his deadly venom
into anyone who is vulnerable.
The victim becomes debilitated
as the venom invades his entire body.
No matter how durable they may think they are,
nothing can prepare them for the venom's deadly attack.
Some die solely from the serpent's puncture,
and others become so fragile from the venom
that they break.
Some, though, overcome these catastrophic encounters,
and eventually pull through, stronger than ever before;
beaten, but never broken.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

It's been awhile...

I haven't written in a while, because I honestly sort of forgot about my blog. A lot has happened since July! Actually, not really. I've had one chemo, and it was outpatient, so I was at the hospital for only like half an hour. Other than that, my counts have been too low to have any more. I've had so many treatments that when my counts drop, they just stay down for weeks at a time, resulting in insanely horrible mouth sores and fatigue. I turned sixteen, finally. I spent my entire birthday in the hospital, and cried the entire day. So no, it wasn't a very sweet sixteen, especially because I had a horrible mean doctor who knew absolutely nothing about cancer. I started school yesterday, and was absolutely worn out by the end of the day, and by last night I could hardly walk. I am definitely not used to walking around all day and, you know, paying attention. I went this morning but the doctor called and said my counts are too low to be at school, so now I'm at home with my dogs watching Discovery Health. (This is what I do every day that I'm not at the hospital.) My veins are so bruised up from needles, if I weren't bald you'd think I was a needle junkie. Oh, I also had my first experience passing out. In front of tons of people. It was seriously humiliating. I accidentally knocked the needle out of my port and then just casually passed out right into my friends arms, (luckily). While I was out, I had a dream about Santa. Is that weird or is that weird? Yeah, I thought so too. So anyway, my leg is doing good I guess. I've been too tired to do any physical therapy, but I'm not really limping anymore. And I'm tired ALL THE TIME and my body is so tired from all the chemo. FIVE MORE. Starting the final five countdown this weekend, if my counts are high enough. I really just wanna go to Hawaii.