Monday, October 29, 2012

Sandy

I just heard that NYU hospital lost power and their backup generators have failed. They are about to be/ currently are being evacuated. This is a seriously scary situation. Nurses are carrying pediatric ICU patients down 9 flights of stairs, some patients while on ventilators. Please keep the patients/staff in your prayers, along with everyone else in Sandy's path.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Struggling

I've really been struggling the past few weeks. Being homeschooled is so hard, especially when you're sick. I can never find the energy to do all of my schoolwork, and I'm behind. I'm sure my grades are showing it. This is what is stressing me out the most, especially since I want to get into Duke University.. Which is unbelievably competitive. It's hard not being able to take the classes I want. I wanted to take AP classes, but being homebound it is impossible. I am planning to go back after thanksgiving break.. And in nervous. I've been out since jan, and being so isolated has caused me to develop insanely bad social anxiety. I'm just writing this blog to vent.. But if you could please keep me in your prayers:( I am also sick again, watching my fever and awaiting a possible ER visit later in the night.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

NO MO CHEMO!!!!

I'M DONE! I DID IT! 27 chemos later I am in remission. It has been a long and tough road, but oh so worth it. I've met the most incredible people here at Duke University. They have each taught me something different and something special. I am a completely different person now because of my cancer. January 28th, I had NO IDEA what would happen. I was so scared. I was depressed for a long time. It was hard being isolated from my friends at school, and being too sick to go out and have fun. It was hard losing my hair. It was hard having to quit cheerleading and it was hard to switch to homeschooling. Then I realized this disease just didn't randomly happen to me. God had been planning this all along. Only He could turn a horrible disease into a beautiful blessing. The past eight months, while the doctors have been fixing my body, God was fixing my soul. One of my favorite quotes is "You are not your body. You are a soul. You have a body." Cancer can't lay a finger on anyone's soul. I am a completely different person today than I was in January. I am wiser. I know what matters and what doesn't. I have a whole new outlook on life, and it is beautiful. I used to be selfish. I used to care way too much about how I looked for school. I used to be obsessed with trying to impress people, trying to seem "cool". Worst of all, I used to judge people who were different than me. None of that matters to me now. I am looking forward to start living my life with a brand new perspective. I want to help people in any way I can, like the nurses and doctors here have helped me. I want to get to know people I wouldn't have talked to before. I want to inspire anyone and everyone. Not everyone has the chance to experience a cancer diagnosis, (and I'm pretty sure not many people want to..) but it has been the biggest blessing God has ever given me. Yep, seriously. Having cancer was a blessing. A painful, terrifying, devastating and beautiful blessing. I am so proud of myself for finishing my treatments. It seemed like it was never going to end. I've had almost 50 hospital admissions to the hospital. Been poked by over 200 needles, and poisoned my body until it couldn't take it any more. It was all worth it. I am a stronger person, and all of the glory goes to God. Thank you for your amazing prayers and support. God bless.